So tell me dear, can your heart still break? If it’s already stopped beating?
(via relying-on-death)
Dead
(Source: misslaaaady, via relying-on-death)
Lust Desperation: clenched fists.so tight that your tan hand is slowly turning...
clenched fists.
so tight that your tan hand is slowly turning pale.
you’re holding on for dear life -
to someone,
to a feeling,
to a thought.
it’s overwhelming & exhausting.
& you’d give anything to just let go.
especially because you can’t even remember why it is that you’re still…
Lust Desperation: clenched fists.so tight that your tan hand is slowly turning...
clenched fists.
so tight that your tan hand is slowly turning pale.
you’re holding on for dear life -
to someone,
to a feeling,
to a thought.
it’s overwhelming & exhausting.
& you’d give anything to just let go.
especially because you can’t even remember why it is that you’re still holding on.
the other side -
well, let’s just say the other side let go.
a long time ago.
& now, it’s just you.
you’re holding on to something that isn’t even truly there anymore.
at least not the way it used to be.
your heart is trying to convince you that it’s time.
it’s time to let go.
it’s finally time.
& as you begin to uncurl your fingers.
the tan begins to reappear.
but your mind stops you.
-are you really ready?
-who’s gonna catch you?
-you’ve held on for so long, don’t give up now.
-this is the epitome of everything you’ve been fighting for.
you’re convinced.
& your hands are back to being pale.
& then your heart tunes in.
-what exactly are you holding on to?
-is the fight even worth it anymore?
-you just can’t always be the only one who cares.
-& now, consider this carefully, is it just the idea of having something to hold on to that’s keeping you from letting go?
you’re unexpectedly thrown into this whirlwind of conflicting emotions.
& then something just clicks.
that was all you really wanted - the feeling of having something to hold on to.
even if, in reality, there’s nothing there.
& you just can’t bear to admit that that is what your life has come to –
holding on to nothingness.
but you decide that if you were to be holding on to something this tightly,
there sure as hell should be someone else holding on just as tightly on the other side.
& since there isn’t,
you finally decide it’s time.
it’s time to betray your thoughts.
it’s time to let go.
it’s finally time.
you feel it all rushing back.
the second-guessing.
the uncertainty.
the loneliness.
but then,
it hits you.
the unwinding.
the levity.
the freeness.
& most importantly,
the hope.
it’s almost as overpowering as the holding on was.
& it’s still scary.
no.
more like terrifying.
& now it feels like you’ve been thrown into this world where you don’t belong.
a world where you can focus on yourself.
your wants.
your needs.
a world where it’s okay to care.
& be cared for.
& when that uncertainty occasionally begins to set in,
you look down at your hands.
& you’re reminded of just how hard of a fight you put up to keep them tan.
& how you finally won.
you finally won.
you breathe in the uncertainty.
& you breathe out the hope.
so, that’s it.
never again.
…game over.
Look how cute he is
This poor boy, This photo usually makes me really happy but tonight it’s just filling me with feelings that I cant explain. I am so scared by the thought that one day he will wake up and realise that he can do so much better than me and that he has been wasting his time with a goat like me. A few months ago, I went on holiday with my family and my depression got so bad that I almost jumped off the balcony of my hotel room. He was texting me, making sure that I was alright while I sat in the bathroom crying. He sent me a message that said I wish you were with me right now so i could hold you in my arms and make sure you’re ok. It frightens me so much because I always want to be in his arms and I know that the day he wakes up and realises that he dosn’t love me will be the day that I need to be in his arms while he is making sure that I am ok. Fuck I need to stop thinking about things.
Have you ever looked at somebody and seen the reason why you love them. Have you seen their eyes light up when they are doing something that they are in love with? It’s the best feeling in the whole world. Seeing every nod of their head, each little smile they do. It’s perfection
(Source: relying-on-death, via relying-on-death)
Relying on Death to Save Me: Fuck this. I can’t do this anymore. You completely destroyed any shred...
Fuck this. I can’t do this anymore. You completely destroyed any shred of happiness I had in my body and then said we would always be friends but now look at us, I am the only one making any fuckung effort.You wont talk to me, you wont reply to my texts, you think Im stalking you, you prettymuch…
